The Executive Doc

Dear Executive Doc

My son is quickly coming to a point where he has to decide on what to do. He is at university. He has said that he just wants money and fed up with learning. Our area has few opportunities but I want him to have a happy life and provide for his future family. What advice would you give in this situation? He is a good boy and I only want the best for him.

Worried Dad

Indonesia

Dear Worried Dad

First of all I want to congratulate you on being rightly concerned about your son. Some parents pressure their children to achieve high grades at school and then university and then they must compete to get a good job. This is not a recipe for happiness and they may burn out or rebel by the time they reach 40.

You will have some insight into what you think your son’s abilities are. However, this view will not be objective as it is can be based on your dreams or what you think is a good job, not on his predisposition. What is needed is a personality assessment, I recommend the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI), which can be done with a registered evaluator or online. This in my mind is the gold standard of sorting out what a person’s inclination is. There are 16 types and each type has a list of careers that would prove interesting and fulfilling.

There is also great pressure on young people to perform better than their parents who were unable to have the opportunities that are available today. No doubt he will be feeling this pressure and this is a critical point for him, as most young people want to have money in their lives, do not want to live off their parents and want to go out into the big wide world. I have seen many a rebellion with young adults, but what they do not realise is that they may be throwing away the baby with the bathwater and lose on this most productive time to lay down education and training to prepare them for their future.

My recommendation is to get the MBTI test done, give him the list of careers that will suit his personality type, and have a discussion. Use a career counsellor if necessary. Understand where he is coming from, his yearning for freedom and independence and envy of others of his own age who are earning a living (at a less than satisfactory job) and look super cool to his mates and most of all – to the girls.

Many young people are forced to work in their teens due to economic pressure on their family, despite high intelligence and aptitude. Your son will view his current situation with new appreciation if he realises how boring those low skill jobs are. You may have to allow him to take six months or a year off (not a gap year spent backpacking) and work in one of these jobs. He will soon learn that this is not for him. How do I know? It happened to me and I became a clock watcher, counting the minutes of every hour to home time and having to deal with boring conversations with workmates and obeying slave driver bosses. Got me straightened out in no time!

I hope this gives you some ideas and let me know what happens.

The Executive Doc